Her BrainStorm

I give my family a hug and muster up a weak yet courageous smile. I’ll be fine… don’t worry. God’s got this.

I am wheeled away in a stretcher into a place called a “prep” room. I’m sure “the human freezer” would have been a more fitting name. My stretcher is placed behind a curtain that droops way down to the shiny vinyl floor. The nurse hands over to me a few sterile gauze pads and instructs me to thoroughly wipe down my body before putting on the hospital gown, making sure the front of the gown is open since little electrical pads will be placed on my chest to monitor my heart and other vital signs. After the nurse exits the room, I follow the instructions down to a T. I continue to praise God for His goodness while wiping down my body with those cold sterile gauze pads. Oh my goodness, it’s cold in here! I quickly put on my warm gown ensuring that the front is open then sit down in the corner chair to put on those ugly hospital socks. Why do these socks have little grippers on them? Hmmm… I wonder if these are new or if they just wash them and call it a day… Whatever the reason, I feel cozy. Thank You God for warm grippy socks. I then take a seat on the end of the stretcher and wait for the attending nurse. I don’t have my phone with me, so (la la la), I’m just sitting there. I can hear the hospital staff all around me. Doctors and nurses feverishly working into the wee hours of the night trying to save lives. I’ve always hated hospitals but thanked God for the ones who didn’t, and pushed themselves through college studying with an M.D. degree in mind – while others partied. I especially thanked God for the attending neurosurgeons and the talented staff who would be working on me that day. God help them with their vision and please, give them strength and double please, stabilize their hands. May Your name be exalted and glorified through this surgery. I have a child that needs me. I know You don’t need a reminder but You are a good, good God. Show me Your glory Lord.

Attending nurse reenters and checks my gown. She asks if I need anything. No, I’m fine, I answer politely. She instructs me to lay down on the stretcher. I feel scared. Wait! How about some extra blankets? I think the weight of the blankets might help me to feel a bit more cozy. She brings in some warm blankets and lays them snuggly across me. Ahhh… so warm and cozy. Thank you. I feel better…

Shortly after, a doctor enters to greet me. Turns out he is an anesthesiologist. He explains that I will be undergoing general anesthesia. The drugs will be administered through an IV needle. He assures me that I will be completely and totally asleep. And to answer your questions: “no, you won’t feel any pain during surgery.” And “no, you’re not going to wake up during surgery.” “The drugs have been tested and they do their job.” And “yes, you will have oxygen during your surgery. You don’t have to try to breathe on your own because you’ll have a breathing tube that’ll get the oxygen to you.” And finally, “yes, I’ve done this before.” Was I annoying? I think not. Inquisitive mind would have been a better description. I am sure he thought the same.