Her BrainStorm

“You’ll have a new normal.” said the nice lady at rehab. After being discharged from the hospital from my three-month stay, I was “respectfully” and gently referred to rehab to help me restore my memory and loss of mobility. You see, post surgery… I lost almost all mobility on the left side of my body. My left leg wouldn’t “pick up” on command. In visual and simple layman’s terms, this simply means, I wasn’t able to “pick up” my left leg to save my life if I was in a hopscotch battle to “hop” and pick up the marker stone… (damn it). I stood there in the middle of the rehab clinic with my 180-lb ballooned, obese body. I don’t belong here… I don’t belong here. God, why am I even alive?!? Answer me, God! Why do You hate me so much? Why?!?! You could’ve easily taken my life when I was in surgery, RIGHT?!? I mean, after all, our lives are in Your Hands. That’s what YOU said!!! But You kept me alive, for this?!? What is this?!? So this is for Your glory? huh!?! So, LET ME ASK YOU! “THIS” IS ALL ABOUT YOU, RIGHT?!? Wait. I’d rather NOT even ask. because, I get it. It’s not about me. Because, it’s clearly all about You. Right?!? Well, fine. Because as a matter of fact, I don’t think I really like You anyway. Good! We’re on equal grounds then. I actually don’t want to have anything to do with You anyways… You are the worst, the biggest liar, and the most cruel… As a matter of fact, I actually think I hate You. How could You do this to me?!? WHY GOD, WHYYYYY?!!!!!!! Why would You allow this?!? I don’t know You, so please, leave me alone. I actually want nothing to do with You. But God, I think I’m going crazy. Please, help my unbelief…